Sunday, May 15, 2016

Emailing: Mikes_living_will_stuff-2.htm

I nearly drown in late 1987 (and haven't scuba dived since) and thought I was having a heart attack when I was 35 years old. My youngest brother died of congestive heart failure at age 44 years, 1 month, 8 days. You don't have to be "old" to worry about death and it's aftermath.

I am not a lawyer so contact one with your legal questions; I'm just someone whose youngest brother died intestate or "without a will"". Here are some suggestions based on what my brothers (especially Jim) and I experienced:

Before you die, before you even get sick, make a will telling what you want:

  • done with your body:

    • creamation or

    • embalming and burial,

    • who does the work,

    • your plans for payment,

    • burial site

    • or ash disposal instructions (i.e.: placement at a Veteran's Cemetary, a nice spot in your curio cabinet, burial with relatives, scattering at sea or the back yard),

  • You might plan your funeral service (I had a friend - Karla Jean Miller - who planned her funeral in complete detail. My youngest brother made no such plans; my brothers and I ended up going to our ministers to get advice...)

  • how to notify your boss(es),

  • who gets your stuff,

  • who you owe money to,

  • what liens are out on your property (i.e. on your car title!),

  • bank accounts,

  • 401Ks,

  • life insurance policies (and did you "borrow" money from it/them?)

  • what storage lockers you are renting,

  • what bank lock boxes or safe deposit boxes do you rent,

  • your email data,

  • social network accounts,

  • blogs,

  • newspapers and magazines you subscribe to,

  • what you want done with your dogs, cats, birds, fish (feed to cats?),"pet snakes" (now there is an oxymoron!),

  • a list of where you keep your medications and "sharps",

  • do you automatically get meds from a pharmacy (I do...) with billing afterwards,

  • and a list of folks to be notified with their phone numbers, email and mail addresses,

  • a list of files/directories on your computer(s) you want to give away. (i.e. I had my father's home movies from when I was in 1st grade translated to DVD but never got around to sending them to my brothers...) and,
  • a list of files/directoried you want purged before anyone gets your "old" computer(s) or it is sent to the breakers

All of this could be done on a couple of sheets of paper. You could sort bills and put them in a cheap, plastic, filing cabinet.

Contact the various companies your will's executor will have to deal with. If you die without a will, a judge may appoint a successor. If a successor is appointed, better hope it is a friend or relative who will work with your relatives or friends to determine who gets what. A court appointed successor might not be a friend to your kith and kin.

I explained this to a friend, the head of the local hospice. She said "get a living will and keep it up to date!"

You might consider writing your obituary; think of it as a permanent, uneditable, "wikipedia" entry on newspaper.

It just occurred to me that you could set aside money to buy booze and munchies for your wake. ("Won't be any 'lite' beer or Mad Dog or 'Ultra' at my wake!") Just a thought, albeit a bit morbid...

If you find an overdue VCR or DVD, expect to pay the overdue fine (unless you drop it in the slot and trundle off); I don't think they'll buy the "but it's overdue cause the renter died...

Finally, you might as well write down the library you borrow from and keep library books, etc. in a conveient place for their return. It never occurred to me to look for any library books or CDs my youngest brother might have checked out; his room mate would have dealt with this...

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